Choosing Your Friends
OBJECTIVE
A true friend will never turn on you and will remain a faithful friend no matter what happens. God wants us to choose our friends wisely, because our friendships will greatly impact our walk with God. He also wants us to be a good friend to others by putting the needs of our friend ahead of our own wants. When times are good, we should be happy for our friends and celebrate with them and when times are tough, we should be loyal to them. David and Jonathan are one of the Bible's best examples of true friendship. Jonathan recognized David's good quality of character, which drew from him admiration and love, and their bond of friendship grew so strong that nothing could separate it.
INTRODUCTION & HOOK - 5 Minutes
The servants can share with the class a few stories about the good friends that they had growing up and some fun adventures. Bring in photos of you and your friends, as children (example church retreats) or as adults, to share with the class. Share a couple stories that were memorable or that impacted your friendships in a way that fostered a stronger relationship with the Lord. In today's story, we are going to learn about two good friends who stuck by each other, even when bad things began to happen to one of them.
HOLY SCRIPTURE - 5 Minutes
Read 1 Samuel 18:1-16; 19:1-10; 20:1-42
Memory Verse "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17)
CONTENT (KEY POINTS) - 20 Minutes
Young David was just a shepherd boy when he bravely defeated Goliath, because he was the only one who trusted God to fight in this battle. Do you remember this story? This victory proved to King Saul that David was a valuable man.
1 Samuel 18:1 -- "Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."
Jonathan was King Saul's son and he grew to admire David which led to the two of them becoming great friends. They were bound to each other in an inseparable relationship and became like brothers. Although Jonathan was a prince and older than David, the difference in their social standing and age did not affect their relationship as they were both "men after God's own heart." The union between them was not just due to their respect for one another's courage and skills, but it was their common faith and love for God.
1 Samuel 18:2-3 -- "Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father's house anymore. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul."
King Saul brought David to live in the palace to play music for him. David was wise and he prospered many times in the kingdom. Jonathan made a covenant with David and promised to be a true and loyal friend for the rest of his life. Jonathan knew the prophecies that said the next king would be someone better than his father and he began to realize that David was that man.
1 Samuel 23:17 -- "You will be king over Israel and I will be next to you."
You would think that Jonathan would be jealous of David thinking he should be the next king of Israel, but he was not. Rather, he dreamed of ruling the kingdom with David. He even took off his robe and gave it to David, along with his armor, sword, bow and belt which was a huge honor. He gave all these gifts to David knowing that he would be the next king.
David obeyed the king and always tried to please him. King Saul gave him valuable training and made him the leader over all his armies. Everyone seemed to like David and talked about how brave he was. The women sang songs about David, and Jonathan was glad that people liked him. When good things happened to David, Jonathan was happy for his friend.
But, King Saul had a problem. He became very jealous of David because the people liked David more than they liked him. The people gave David more praise than King Saul and this just made him angrier.
1 Samuel 18:9 -- "So Saul eyed David from that day forward."
David now had an enemy who was the most powerful man in Israel -- the King himself When people get jealous, sometimes it makes them do bad things. Saul was so jealous of David's popularity, youth, strength and intelligence so he demoted him and hoped that he would die during the battles with the Philistines. Saul became increasingly afraid because he started to realize that the Lord had departed from him, but was with David.
1 Samuel 19:1 -- "Now Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and to all his servants, that they should kill David; but Jonathan, Saul's son, delighted greatly in David."
Jonathan warned David about his father's evil thoughts and told him to hide until he could speak with him. He bravely spoke up to his father reminding him that David was a good man who loved God very much and he was actually able to change his father's mind. Saul promised "As the Lord lives, he shall not be killed." But, this did not last for long as Saul's jealousy continued to increase. Two more times he tried to hurt David but he was unsuccessful because the Lord saved him. David escaped the palace that night and had to live his life on the run from Saul. Jonathan was very sad that his father tried to harm David again.
1 Samuel 20:4 -- So Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you yourself desire, I will do it for you."
Jonathan still wanted to help David and keep him safe because he was a true friend. Jonathan decided he would go to his father again to see if he truly broke his promise by trying to harm David. Jonathan and David made a covenant to care for one another. Jonathan agreed to protect David from his father, and David agreed to care for Jonathan and his family in the future.
They came up with a plan for Jonathan to send David a signal, letting him know the truth about what he learned. When Jonathan confronted his father and sided with David, Saul threw a spear at him out of anger. He immediately realized that Saul was really after David and so he shot an arrow as a signal for David to flee for his life. Jonathan risked his life by standing up for David. It also took a lot of courage for him to contact David secretly.
1 Samuel 20:41 -- "And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so."
David and Jonathan loved each other so much but David could not stay and Jonathan could not go. The pain of being apart was so much that it made them cry. They asked God to watch over each of them and to guide and protect them. What a truly beautiful friendship they had
DISCUSSION (Challenge) - 5 Minutes
How do we grow Godly friends?
In the book of Proverbs, King Solomon advises about 4 types of friends.
- The Simple Friend (has no direction): Someone who does not think about his actions and instead just follows the crowd and does whatever is popular or "feels right." They do not consider the future consequences of their actions. They may not know God and so we should try to tell him about God and influence them toward God.
- The Fool (chooses poorly): Someone who is only interested in doing what is fun and often ends up in trouble. They make poor decisions because they do not think ahead. They never think about God and how their decisions can hurt Him and others. We may have some influence on helping them to move toward God, but we need to be very careful not to allow them to influence us.
- The Scoffer (defends wrong): Someone who knows what he is doing is wrong and does not care. They are rebellious and like doing wrong and just make excuses for their choices. They are defensive and selfish and use people and may hurt them without feeling bad about it. This type of friend is dangerous because they don't believe in God or they just want to oppose Him. We should love them and pray for them, but not be close friends with them.
- The Wise Friend (follows God): Someone who listens to God and always tries to learn and receive guidance from good sources in their lives. These are the type of friends we want to surround ourselves with, because they are devoted to God and will always influence us to make good choices.
We should be careful in choosing our friends wisely as these choices could impact the rest of our lives.
- Describe your best friend? What qualities make them a good friend?
- Are you a good friend? Can you tell me about a time when you were a good friend?
- What can happen if we are not careful and choose friends who are not Christ-like?
LIFE APPLICATION - 5 Minutes
Choose something you can do from this list above to show a friend that you love them.
- Friends help and encourage one another.
- Friends take care of one another and show empathy.
- Friends have fun together and celebrate with one another.
- Friends share with one another and show generosity.
ACTIVITY - 10 Minutes
Option 1: Friendship Bracelet
A fun craft would be to have each student make a friendship bracelet. It could be as simple as yarn or pipe cleaner and some beads that need to be strung and then tied. This can serve as a little reminder to children as they wear their bracelet to be a good friend, just like Jonathan was to David. They could also choose to give it to a good friend that they love as a gift.
Option 2: Arrow Craft
Another craft could include making an arrow using a popsicle stick and construction paper with the memory verse preprinted on it or have the students just write the verse. They can decorate the arrow with feathers or glitter.
Option 3: Quiver Craft
Sticking with the arrow theme, another possible craft could be making a quiver out of a Pringles container or even a plastic or Styrofoam cup, labeled with "Be a Good Friend." Have the students make arrows out of colored cardstock or construction paper and write different qualities of a good friendship on each arrow.
Option 4: Darts Game
Another possible game idea could be to divide the class into two teams. Prepare a list of questions about the lesson and every time a team gives the correct answer, have them throw a dart (representing the arrows in the story) on a dartboard (magnetic for safety) to earn points. The team with the most points wins
PARENTS CORNER/HOMEWORK
Ask parents to reinforce the lesson by talking to their children about how to choose a good friend at school and how to be a good friend as well.
The kids can complete this fun worksheet for homework: David and Jonathan Spot the Differences