Marriage

OBJECTIVE

The objective of the liturgy module is to help the 8th graders understand the importance of living a sacramental life through the lens of individual sacraments. To show them that sacraments are not simply activities or rituals that we participate in as Coptic Orthodox Christians, but rather they point us to a new way of looking at life and a transformed way of living.

The objective of this lesson is to introduce the youth to the beauty of the sacrament of Marriage and also suggest some ways that they can prepare for this sacrament if they are called to it by God.

INTRODUCTION - 5 Minutes

Hook Activity: Couples in the Bible Game (See attached). Cut out each name and have the students match each couple from the Bible. This can be done in different ways based on the size of the class.

Many young people spend an inordinate amount of time consuming secular media. Whether it be television, video games, books, podcasts, YouTube videos, or social media, one of the most showcased items is "love" and relationships.

The secular myth about relationships that pervades all of our media is this:

• Once you find a relationship, you will live happily ever after. Having a girlfriend or boyfriend will make your life complete. A relationship between two individuals is what life is all about; it is the only way to be truly happy.
• If this myth were true, why is the divorce rate in America so high? Why do people get into relationships that make them deeply unhappy?

We as Christians have a much deeper, more holy, and more fulfilling approach to relationships.

• For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:5-6

CONTENT (KEY POINTS) - 20 Minutes

The main reason why the secular view of relationships is a damaging myth is because it turns relationships into an Idol.

The true purpose of Marriage is not to take a partner so that they can make us happy.

• Instead it is to have a partner who I can become one with and in that process make THEM happy. By no longer living for myself and my own selfish gain, but instead to start living for them. For their happiness, for their fulfillment, for their salvation.

• A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)
• This commandment from the Lord, while targeted towards all Christians, is all the more true in Marriage. At the center of every true relationship is a Christ like (sacrificial) love for the other.

The Sacrament of Marriage

One of the most beautiful and holy sacraments is Marriage. It involves two people who stand before God and the church and elect to be united together by the Holy Spirit.

When a man and a woman come to the Church to be married, they are experiencing the transfiguration of their earthly marriage into the reality of the Kingdom of God. In the Holy Gospel according to St. John 2:1-11, we read about Lord Jesus Christ attending a wedding ceremony in Cana of Galilee. In being at this wedding and in performing His first miracle there, our Lord Jesus Christ forever blesses marriage and sets it apart as a "sanctified" way of life. This first miracle performed by the Lord at the wedding of Cana of Galilee is also symbolic; the transformation of water into wine is symbolic of the Sacramental transformation of the earthly reality of marriage into something heavenly and spiritual. (Adapted from an article by Fr. John Meyendorff)

Marriage as a Triangle: God, Husband, and Wife

A great way to help kids understand the biblical definition of marriage is to use the triangle analogy. This illustration emphasizes that marriage is not just a bond between two people but a sacred union involving God as well.

The Triangle Analogy Explained:

• God at the Top: Imagine a triangle with God at the very top. He is the foundation and the guiding force in the relationship.
• Husband and Wife at the Bottom Corners: The husband and wife are at the two bottom corners of the triangle, representing the partners in the marriage.

Connecting Lines:

• The Line Connecting Husband and Wife: This line represents the relationship between the couple. It is built on love, trust, and commitment.
• The Lines Connecting God to Husband and Wife: These lines represent the couple's individual relationships with God. As each person grows closer to God (moving up their respective line toward Him), they also grow closer to each other.

The Biblical Definition of Marriage Using the Triangle Analogy - Marriage as a Covenant:

• In a biblical marriage, the husband and wife enter into a covenant, not just with each other but also with God. A covenant is a sacred promise that is meant to be lifelong. It's different from a simple contract because it is bound by God's love and commitment.
• Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." The "threefold cord" refer to the husband, wife, and God. When God is at the center, the marriage bond is much stronger.

Preparation

How do we know if we are ready for Marriage?

1. Relationship with God and Neighbor
   • If one is to have a fruitful Marriage they must start by having a serious relationship with God:
     1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' (Mark 12:30-31)
   • If we can not forgo our own will to pray, take communion, confess, love our neighbor, and love God, then we are not ready to be in a real relationship because Marriage is a union where two people lead each other to God.
2. Honesty and Openness
   • Since Marriage is a sacrament where the congregation, the whole church, comes together to give their blessing, there should be an openness with this relationship.
   • If you have to hide your relationship from your parents and father of confession, there is something deeply wrong.
   • For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops. (Luke 12:2-3)
3. Sacramental Life
   • We must be participating actively and consistently in the sacraments of the church before we think about Marriage.
   • If we are not consistently taking communion, repenting, confessing, and participating in the life of the church, we are not ready for a relationship like Marriage.
4. Purity
   • One of the most important things to do in preparation for Marriage is to seriously pursue purity of heart
     1. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Matthew 6)
     2. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? (1 Corinthians 6:19)
   • One of the biggest struggles for everyone is cultivating purity, but it is important to understand that this virtue is essential to a happy marriage. Without establishing a life of purity before marriage, purity and faithfulness within marriage becomes elusive.

ACTIVITY - 10 Minutes

Building the Covenant

Purpose: To illustrate the importance of a strong foundation in marriage, symbolized by Christ and faith, and to teach the Sunday school kids what it means to build a sacrament on strong principles.

Materials:

• Blocks (like Jenga blocks or building blocks)
• A list of values (written on separate cards or slips of paper) - see attached
• A piece of paper labeled "Foundation in Christ" (to place at the bottom of the structure)

Instructions:

• Split the class into small groups and give each group a set of blocks.
• Lay out the "Foundation in Christ" paper and explain that a strong marriage must be built on a foundation of faith.
• Give each group a value card and ask them to share why this value is important in a marriage. For each value they discuss, they get to add a block to the structure.
• After all groups have added their blocks, ask: "What would happen if we removed some of these blocks?" Let them try to remove a few blocks without collapsing the structure.
• Discuss what happens when a marriage lacks these key values.

Discussion Points:

• Just like a building, a marriage can't stand strong if it's missing key components like love, trust, or faith.
• The "Foundation in Christ" paper symbolizes that for a marriage to be truly sacramental, it must be rooted in a relationship with God.

SERVANT RESOURCES

• The Sacrament of Matrimony
• SUSCopts the Sacrament of Matrimony
• The Essence of A Christian Marriage

LESSON ATTACHMENTS