Marriage

OBJECTIVE

The objective of the liturgy module is to help the 8th graders understand the importance of living a sacramental life through the lens of individual sacraments. To show them that sacraments are not simply activities or rituals that we participate in as Coptic Orthodox Chistians, but rather they point us to a new way of looking at life and a transformed way of living.

The objective of this lesson is to introduce the youth to the beauty of the sacrament of Marriage and also suggest some ways that they can prepare for this sacrament if they are called to it by God.

INTRODUCTION - 5 Minutes

Many young people spend an inordinate amount of time consuming secular media. Whether it be television, video games, books, podcasts, YouTube videos, or social media, one of the most showcased items is "love" and relationships.

The secular myth about relationships that pervades all of our media is this:

  • Once you find a relationship, you will live happily ever after. Having a girlfriend or boyfriend will make your life complete. A relationship between two individuals is what life is all about; it is the only way to be truly happy.
  • If this myth were true, why is the divorce rate in America so high? Why do people get into relationships that make them deeply unhappy?

We as Christians have a much deeper, more holy, and more fulfilling approach to relationships.

  • For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:5-6

CONTENT (KEY POINTS) - 20 Minutes

The main reason why the secular view of relationships is a damaging myth is because it turns relationships into an Idol.

The true purpose of Marriage is not to take a partner so that they can make us happy.

  • Instead it is to have a partner who I can become one with and in that process make THEM happy. By no longer living for myself and my own selfish gain, but instead to start living for them. For their happiness, for their fulfillment, for their salvation.
  • A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 9:34-35)
  • This commandment from the Lord, while targeted towards all Christians, is all the more true in Marriage. At the center of every true relationship is a Christ like (sacrificial) love for the other.

The Sacrament of Marriage

One of the most beautiful and holy sacraments is Marriage. It involves two people who stand before God and the church and elect to be united together by the Holy Spirit.

When a man and a woman come to the Church to be married, they are experiencing the transfiguration of their earthly marriage into the reality of the Kingdom of God. In the Holy Gospel according to St. John 2:1-11, we read about Lord Jesus Christ attending a wedding ceremony in Cana of Galilee. In being at this wedding and in performing His first miracle there, our Lord Jesus Christ forever blesses marriage and sets it apart as a "sanctified" way of life. This first miracle performed by the Lord at the wedding of Cana of Galilee is also symbolic; the transformation of water into wine is symbolic of the Sacramental transformation of the earthly reality of marriage into something heavenly and spiritual. (Adapted from an article by Fr. John Meyendorff)

Preparation

How do we know if we are ready for Marriage?

  1. Relationship with God and Neighbor
    • If one is to have a fruitful Marriage they must start by having a serious relationship with God:
      1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' (Mark 12:30-31)
    • If we can not forgo our own will to pray, take communion, confess, love our neighbor, and love God, then we are not ready to be in a real relationship because Marriage is a union where two people lead each other to God.
  2. Honesty and Openness
    • Since Marriage is a sacrament where the congregation, the whole church, comes together to give their blessing, there should be an openness with this relationship.
    • If you have to hide your relationship from your parents and father of confession, there is something deeply wrong.
    • For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops. (Luke 12:2-3)
  3. Sacramental Life
    • We must be participating actively and consistently in the sacraments of the church before we think about Marriage.
    • If we are not consistently taking communion, repenting, confessing, and participating in the life of the church, we are not ready for a relationship like Marriage.
  4. Purity
    • One of the most important things to do in preparation for Marriage is to seriously pursue purity of heart
      1. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Matthew 6)
      2. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? (1 Corinthians 6:19)
    • One of the biggest struggles for everyone is cultivating purity, but it is important to understand that this virtue is essential to a happy marriage. Without establishing a life of purity before marriage, purity and faithfulness within marriage becomes elusive.

DISCUSSION (Challenge) - 10 Minutes

  1. What is an Idol? Why has "love" become an idol in secular society?
  2. What do we do if we see all our friends at school talking about girlfriends and boyfriends? How do we resist the temptation to be in a relationship?

RESOURCES