Choosing Your Friends

OBJECTIVE

The objective of this lesson is to show the students how to use scripture as a guide in choosing their close friendships. Students will learn about the importance of being careful with selecting close friends, as they can bring them closer or further away from God. Also, students will learn about how to be a good and faithful friend to others in a Christian manner.

INTRODUCTION & HOOK - 5 Minutes

Please review the previous week's lesson. (5 minutes)

Distribute a paper and pencil to each student. Have each student draw a thick/dark line on the paper. Next, have the students rub their finger against the line they drew and then look at their fingers.

Ask the students:

What happened when you rubbed your finger on the pencil mark? (The lead rubs off onto your finger)

Explain to the students that just like lead can easily rub off of the paper onto your skin, people and their habits can also rub off on each other. This is why it is important to carefully choose who we spend the most time with.

Next, introduce today's topic by asking the following questions.

What do you think makes a good friend? (Trust, loyalty, fun, funny, etc.)
How many close or core friends would you say you have? (1, 2, 10?)
Do you have the same friends that you had five years ago? (Allow students to share.)
If you don't, why not? What happened? (Got in a fight, moved, etc.)
What do you think is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?

HOLY SCRIPTURE - 5 Minutes

Memory Verse: "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." (Proverbs 12:26)
"A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 17:17)
"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.'" (1 Corinthians 15:33)

CONTENT (KEY POINTS) - 20 Minutes

Types of Friends

Core "Best" Friends:

This is the closest and valuable level of friendship, and is usually limited to 1 or 2 people.
You feel the most comfortable around these friends because they understand you the most and are the most trustworthy.
Someone you feel like you can talk to about anything with.
Someone you spend a lot of time with.

Close Friends:

Someone who you probably have been friends with for a while, and you can trust, but won't share everything with them.
May not share all of the same interests but you enjoy their company.
Circle of friends that you would share outings and important events with such as a graduation, birthday party, etc.

Acquaintances:

People who perhaps see regularly but don't know very well.
You may have conversations with them occasionally, but you wouldn't necessarily invite them to spend time with you or ask them for help.

Why Choosing Friends is Important

Have the students read Proverbs 12:26 (see Memory Verse above) and ask the following.

Think about your actual group of core and close friends. How did you become friends and why? (People with whom you share common interests/values, people who lived near you, on the same sports team, or went to your school/church, etc.)

According to Proverbs 12:26, we should choose our friends carefully and wisely. This is because just like in the pencil exercise above, friends change our lives, give us advice, and impact our behavior and attitude. Choosing who enters our core and close friends circles is important because those are the ones who influence for the good or bad.

If our best and close friends do not share the same Christian values, we may be drawn away from our standards. Conversely, if our best/close friends do share the same Christian values, they can help us grow closer to God and live a Christian life.

Additionally, we need to be aware of the basis of our friendships. Friendships can and should be based on true caring for the person, rather than shallow and based on possessions or ability. Sometimes we become friends for the wrong reasons such as needing something out of them or wanting to be able to use something they have.

For example, are you friends with someone just because they help you with your homework, or because they have a big house with a pool or have the latest gadgets that you want to play with? On the other hand, do you feel that you have friends who may be using you for something? Keep in mind that it is perfectly fine to help your friends with projects or share your things with them, but if that is the only basis of your friendship, then it is important to be careful with letting those people into your heart as close friends.

Right Friends vs. Wrong Friends

Draw a chart on a board and ask the students to list characteristics of what they think a right/good friend should be versus a wrong friend. Answers should reflect the characteristics listed below.

What Kind of Friend Should I Be?

Right Friend = Christ Like

We should strive to be the type of friend that Jesus was:

He forgave everyone
He was always there for people
He challenged people to be the best they could be
He shared His life with people
He was always honest
He loved the sinners but rejected the sin

DISCUSSION (Challenge) - 10 Minutes

The questions below can be used for discussion or self-reflection as time permits.

Has anything we've talked about today revealed to you any flaws in how you've shaped your friendships?
You don't need to answer these out loud, think through this in your own heart: Have you chosen your friends wisely? Have you allowed your friendship to be impacted by drama and gossip? Do you have friends that have been faithful to you or do you have a lot of friendships that seem shallow?
If someone chose you for a friend, would it be a wise choice? Do you have the kind of character and unselfishness that handles conflict? Are you a faithful friend? Are you friends with anyone just because of their social status or what they offer you?
When was the last time you prayed with a friend? Sympathetically listened to a friend? Lifted up a friend during a difficult time? Expressed gratitude to a friend? Totally selflessly helped a friend?

LIFE APPLICATION - 5 Minutes

Takeaways: Friends can bring us closer to or further away from God. They can encourage us to sin, or help us refrain from sin, etc. Friendship is a big deal. You are heavily influenced by those you spend time with. You need to take all this to heart and choose wisely those who will be faithful and deep friends, while also committing to being that kind of friend yourself. There is a difference between core/best friends and acquaintances, and it is very important to wisely choose your best friends.

ACTIVITY - 10 Minutes

Give each student a blank colored paper. Have them write their name on it in the top right corner and tape it on his/her back.

Ask each student to find a partner and write down a compliment, encouragement, or affirmation about that person, "what makes that person a good friend?" Then, ask students to pair up with another person and repeat the activity.

Do this as many times as you have people in the room. If you have a really large group, you can split into smaller groups of five or six each.

When finished, ask students to read the comments, and let them discover what encouraging words and compliments others are saying about them and what makes them a good friend.